Honest Trailers - Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle

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From the studio that just...

can't...

seem...

to launch...

a franchise.

Comes the reboot no one wanted

that ended up being really fun?

And something I wouldn't mind seeing more of?

Is this...

Is this what hope feels like?

You love the 1995 original.

Now, the reboot is tossing out the setting,

the premise,

the dead kids,

the Robin Williams,

and pretty much everything except the name.

"JUMANJI!"

But since I swore a blood oath to see every movie The Rock makes,

here we are.

Meet 4 teenagers

who are all unique in a Breakfast Clubby kinda way.

Watch them learn self-confidence and compassion,

just like The Breakfast Club,

thanks to an action-packed day in detention,

just like that other movie.

I believe it was called...

Power Rangers.

"You must be a bully of detention."

Thrill as each teen is Jumanji'd into an avatar that represents their character arc,

the nerd who needs courage,

the jock who needs humility,

the weirdo who needs confidence,

and the popular girl who needs to learn...

how a penis works.

"So, how do we do this?"

"Oh my God, these things are crazy!"

It may be on the nose,

but you'll laugh as all the actors get to play against their usual type.

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry."

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"I like can't even with this place."

Except for Kevin Hart.

"I don't have the top 2 feet of my body!"

Kevin Hart always Kevin Harts.

"Help!

"AAAHHH!!"

"Oh my God!"

"AH!"

Enter Jumanji,

the board game that literally rebooted itself for a new generation

that's sort of a riff on the tropes of video games,

"I think he's an NPC."

except when it drops the pretense to be a normal adventure movie again.

"They got away."

"We lost them in the jungle."

Wait, why are the NPCs talking to each o-

Uh, yeah, you know what? Never mind.

But it still does a good job at poking fun at female heroes designed by dudes,

"Why am I wearing this outfit in a jungle?"

scripted events,

"Dr. Bravestone, Jumanji needs you!"

"Jumanji needs you!"

Jumanji needs you!"

"Jumanji needs him." "Jumanji needs you!"

"We know."

and multiple violent deaths that never seem to faze the characters.

"Rose!"

"My God!"

"Chill out, he'll be back."

You know, if Mario was real, he'd never stop screaming.

After 35 years,

Jack Black finally returns to the jungle,

"Just last night, I was lost in the jungle with Pitfall Harry surrounded my man-eating crocodiles!"

while The Rock just can't get enough

in the third chapter of his secret jungle quadrilogy

that's a pure celebration of his Rock appeal

as Dwayne Johnson spends an entire movie discovering the joys...

of being Dwayne Johnson,

whether it's his arms,

"Jesus, would you look at the size of that thing?"

realizing he has no weaknesses,

"None?"

his sex appeal,

or the effect he has on large bearded men,

"Damn, that is a man right there."

you'll totally buy into the hype that's going to make him the second least qualified president someday.

So gear up for a flick that surprised everyone at the box office,

paid proper respect to the original,

"This is Alan Parish's house. I'm just living in it."

and reminded every studio that when most of your reboots,

feature-length comedies,

and video game movies are terrible,

we'll slob all over you just for showing basic competence.

Eugh! Ugh!

"Cake?"

"Albino rhinos!"

"They're huge, white, scary, and stupid and they eat people."

Good news, Kev. We've got them on the ropes.

Yay, go us.

"Oh, no."

Hey, Screen Junkies, want to avoid more of your life?

Click the box on the left for our new show, Smash Hit, where we break down the career of Will Smith.

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