the studio that will soon make every one of the movies you see,
comes a movie made for everyone.
to...
Actually, that's pretty much it.
Enjoy the simple story of a girl with low self-esteem
finding her missing father and learning to believe in herself
While at the same time, director Ava DuVernay pours LSD directly into both your eyeballs
In a bonkers mix of grounded straightforward storytelling
and Reese Witherspoon transforming into a giant flying leaf Pokemon.
"Wow."
A girl who gets bullied about as much as Meg from Family Guy
When her dad pulls an Interstellar
and crosses the universe with the.. power of love?
She'll team up with her brother, young Sheldon
and a cute boy who just kind of wanders in
Together, they'll find her dad on the set of Drake's "Hotline Bling" video
and defeat the embodiment of fear and negativity that feeds on children known as It.
No, the other embodiment of fear and negativity of children known as It.
Get ready for more A-List stars dressed like J-Pop Idols than an anime themed met gala
Featuring the larger than life wise sage known as Oprah
As a more grounded 100 foot tall version of herself
Reese Witherspoon as your favorite weird aunt
"We're warriors who serve the good and light in the universe"
and Mindy Kaling as that copy of Bartlett's familiar quotations you leave near the toilet
"Tomorrow, there will be more of us. Miranda, American"
"'The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground. Buddha Napoli"
Enough!!!!!
So thrill at the latest Disney juggernaut
Which enchanted critics (with the idea that this is awful source material to make a movie out of) and made (a fraction of) a billion dollars at the bo--
And it was a box office disappointment?
And this isn't the first time they screwed up A Wrinkle In Time?
That's impossible...
That just doesn't happen in Disney
(Tell that to John Carter and The Lone Ranger from 2013)
Is this a dream? Seriously is this a dream?
Because I had a couple of edibles before seeing the movie and I'm kind of waiting for the second one to kick i--
"To you I give you the give of your faults"
Note to self: Don't invite Reese Witherspoon and Oprah to your secret santa